Thank gawd I've a both side ruled paper !
I'm supposed to be studying now and all the other time as well. You know, Sometimes we can't see what people really are; we often see the side they "show" , thats it! This letter will be put to the scrutinizing test of the watchful eyes too...Hope you understand what people I am talking about.
There is a constant shouting match here that has been haunting all the happines away. So, Basically I am as miserable as ever :P
I was aware, I was selfish , mean and all the other things...
I was aware, All the time "we" lost on would never, ever, come back. If I say it was coz I had boards to write, a damned relationship to deal with and a Dead Best friend to mourn over I wouldn't do justice to the being true part.
These things did matter , love. But they were never really the sole reason behind the friends forver "falling apart", well almost ! It all started when I got this notion in my head that I was not being a true Best friend...The kind they'd talk about in fairy tales.
And then came sur, The kind of flawless I wished I could be, back then. Remember. Once she said " You left the hand long ago" and I said, "No, The hand left me" I never left your hand cupcake...I never would!
We are both big girls here . We know things in life don't always turn out the way we imagine then with our big head on the cosy pillow at night. Things do go wrong. But the past is a lost thing... However hard we may try, we cant never relive even a single moment out of the millions that have gone by. All that is in our hands is the present, our present. I am not running away this time. I wont run away.
How I wish I could point a few faults here and there but there were none, love. You were never wrong. It was the wind maybe or the water or maybe me...! But not you, No way!
Have started believing in the "Whateve happens, happens for the good" cliche very firmly.
In a way that time alone at home, when I would sit with my pea sized brain bubbling with thoughts, my small heart brimming with feelings-willing yet not coming to the Sports complex- That time alone gave my life a deeper meaning; I found myself when I thought I was as lost as a 3 year old would be with a bunch of strippers! That time taught me a lot...More than I can learn in a thousand years...And it gave you a new best friend in Surabhi.
I know this letter is way too long and my words dont make much of an impact but its all from the heart. Now, I have reached a point in this letter and in life at large which we call the writer's block. I dont know what I've written so far or what I'll be writing in the next few paragraphs, and it does not matter anyway. What matters is how you take it, see it.
To sum it up, we must now think how we can build a new today, a beautiful today where we can again be the Best friends who would not meet for months and still know how the other would react to anything at all. Hope you will pen down everything, beautiful and ugly, warm and cold, you felt while reading this. Let me know, If I've been able to answer all the questions you've been asking yourself.
Today, I am a new person(this change took place a couple of months back). I am happy with what life is and with all that it is not. I live with the hope that tomorrow will be better, it has got to be good. Today , I dont wish I was flawless coz finally I've found someone who not only loves me with these flaws but would love me for them.
I know I can with ease manage to write a hundred more miles but the clock that is ticking away so fast and my homework which is waiting for me wont agree.
Me and him are still friends...Havent been in contact really but if he would have been here he would have definately said "Hi n ol" , LOL! :P
With all the love,
Sherry
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